Our First Born.
The saying goes, children aren't born with blueprints or instructions. This is very true. While there are tons of books out there to guide you along the way, nothing can compare to real life.
Parents go through raising children the best way they know how. If you have questions, you will seek to find the answers. Life Experiences can play a major part in how you decide to raise your children.
I remember one time my daughter and I were having a very serious heart to heart about her moving out and moving on with her life as an independent adult. The more we talked, the bigger the lump in my throat grew.
And before you knew it, I broke down and started crying. To lighten the load,
She just bust out and said---- AWWWWKWARRRD! LOL
To this day, I still crack up thinking about that. She knew just what to say to get us back on topic. I love her so much.
My daughter is NOT and has NEVER been an emotional person. I can count on my fingers how many times she has physically cried. So yes, the sight of physical emotions especially from her mother, sends her into a panic of concern and she never wants to see me hurting.
It wasn't a cry of pain, it was more like a release of emotion that we did a great job raising her. The time flew by and here we were facing the inevitable that our baby girl is all grown up.
The topic was getting a little heavy as I shared with her my dreams of what I wanted to be as a mother to her. When I found out I was pregnant and gave birth to my beautiful baby girl, the one thing that I kept focused on was that, I want my baby to ALWAYS feel LOVED, SAFE and SECURE.
I knew what I felt and what I missed as a child growing up and I made sure to provide the OPPOSITE of that. Children are innocent and look to their parents or caregivers to provide a safe and loving home to grow.
I often had close friends who knew about my childhood and they would often ask through all of that, how is it that you and your daughter have such an amazing relationship? Only God knows the true eloquent answer.
I credit it all to the placing your trust in God and making a pact as parents to get you through the years as young and very inexperienced parents. With support from family, you can make it.
Knowing the things that you would NEVER do to your children or expose them to has helped to create a foundation for the journey.
My major concern was to assure that she felt that no matter what, her mommy and daddy LOVED her dearly and would always be there for her.
Kids don't need all the fancy stuff like toys and such. They need a foundation that will take them far in life. It helped that she was a very laid back child growing up too. It wasn't difficult raising her. She was an easy breezy type of girl.
Of course she went through her periods of discovery as every child will encounter but, once they have a solid foundation, they will only stray so far before they come right back to their senses or you might have to help them come to them. LOL
Hugs are very important to our family. These are things that I can recall having and not having as a child growing up and I knew first hand what it was like to not feel a mother's love.
Let's be very clear, when parents aren't there for their children, whether it's by leaving them with family members for the family members to do their job as a parent or by being absent physically even if you're living under the same roof. This is a HUGE problem.
These types of actions, will almost always, leave the door open for awful (physical, mental, abusive) things to occur and I know that is NEVER anything I would want to happen to my sweet baby girl.
So yes, during her childhood I was very protective on the family members I allowed around her, there was NO way I would take a chance on anyone that hurt me in the past to get close enough to my baby girl to do the same.
Probably didn't make sense to others but, it didn't matter, it made sense to me and that's what I went with. The major result, she was always surrounded by loving and supportive family members that fostered her growth.
The major blueprint I had raising my daughter was to be sure that she knew that she could come to me and her dad FIRST and FOREMOST. When you create this bond with your child and show them that no matter what the circumstance, you will be there for them and will do your best to provide a loving environment those are major building blocks to assuring that your child will understand the sacrifices you have made to be the best parent to them.
When it came time for her to move out into an independent living situation away from mom and dad, I took it harder than her dad of course. He was happy to see her fly away to explore the world. The protective mommy in me, wanted to keep her under my wing for as long and unrealistically as possible. If I had it my way, she would be occupying the 4th bedroom at this very moment.
She knows that her parents love her. She knows that her grandparents love her. She knows that she has family that will drop everything at the drop of a hat once the word gets out that she's in town.
She's the first born. She's the first grand. She's our everything. Even though we're living in different states, the bond will never be broken and the lines of communication will remain the same.
For that I am very proud to say that despite the fact that she lives on her own and not under our wing, we can rest assure that the values we instilled in her will live on within her.
Good News, we are always in contact. Can you say unlimited texting and long distance!! WOOT.
There are days that I just sit and look through photo albums from when she was little. I guess I was a little crazy with the camera. Well, maybe not a little, A LOT! HAHA!
Now that we have re-started the wheel as older experienced and seasoned parents with our new little ones, our lives will take on new journeys and it will be a delight to see the people they grow up to be.
As long as we have each other as parents to lean on through the good and bad times, I know that everything will work out just fine. Please! keep us in prayer. Thanks.
Danyelle, we LOVE and MISS you.
*Edited to add that Danyelle lives in California and the rest of us (Daddy, Mommy, DJ and baby Gracen) moved to Florida*
