Advice Needed (Letters to my Inbox)

My friend and her husband (TWO GENIUSES) are having a debate.

They need your input!  It's LONG I know but, if or when you have time to read and respond, I'm sure she'd gladly appreciate it.

Here's the email:

Ok-- gonna go weird and abstract on you for a second... please hang with me as I would REALLY appreciate your thoughts, perspective and opinion.

 

Here goes--

 

Say you spend $30,000.00 on a college education. In your graduating class there a 6 individuals. 

 

Would you attribute the funds spent to: 

 

A) paying for the education and wisdom gleaned from it

B) paying for the degree to get the higher income

C) paying for the relationships of the fellow classmates and then possible future leads

 

Catch is-- you may only select one.

 

Now-- I am going to detail this a little more by sharing my view-- I should in all fairness make this a two part email, waiting for your feedback before sharing mine-- but I am raging with curiosity now! LOL!

 

My argument is that you are paying for the degree-- to get the higher income and advance your career. Most people use very little of the textbook learning, but do utilize the selling point of holding a degree later on their resumes.

 

You may also network with fellow classmates later on-- but you do not approach the college education with those unknown relationships as the only intent and purpose of going to college.

 

**my husband** feels it is for the fellow classmates only. That you can equally divide the 30k amongst the classmates and attribute a value of 5k per student. In essence, trying to get your investment back from them in the future, through business deals/referrals, and if effective, not just breaking even but gaining an "interest" so to speak.

 

Therefore, to maximize your ROI, you must maintain a lifelong connection to these people, to increase your rate of return as much as possible through their lifespan.

 

To cut one person out, is to throw away your original 5k investment, as well as any possible future income from potentially networking with them.

 

So far it seems like an innocent intellectual debate... right?? But what if I add an emotional aspect to this argument as well... what value then becomes more important to you... the monetary value, or value of emotional health?? Let's see...

 

My issue lies here. One of the women from the original class I have an ethical issue with. She has consistently flirted with the married men in the class. Not a mere giggle, bat my eyes and that's it kind of thing.  

 

She had "the look", I hope you ladies understand what this means, and used every excuse feasible to be in either close proximity to, or physically touching the men of her interest. One of them being my husband.

 

I had the opportunity to observe her tactics first hand, several times, and thus feel I am making an informed/educated decision about her intentions/motives. 

 

 The issue most pressing to me, is that she is not your average flirt-- she is not strictly seeking the attention to make herself feel good-- but trying to act on her attractions.

 

My argument is this: her assessed "value" may be 5k with potential to grow, but aren't my emotional needs more valuable in the long run?

 

If it makes me feel safe not having her in our lives, and leads to a lifetime of happily wedded bliss, then wouldn't investing in my emotional well being be more valuable in the long run?

 

Though being that my happiness or lack thereof can greatly affect **my husband**'s ability to achieve efficiency. Wether that be personally, financially, or professionally.

 

For example, if our arguing affects his mental clarity, which affects his ability to effectively sell a product to a client, then hasn't the argument, in essence, cost him that potential profit?? Wouldn't the root cause (or source) of said argument, be this female in question??

 

Then logically speaking, wouldn't she have directly caused the lack of profit and actually lowered her value and become a liability both emotionally and heck-- even financially!!??  

 

 You think no??? Ok-- let's reassess this from the monetary value argument only then, shall we???   **my husband** has invested thousands of dollars into me over the years, and I provide ongoing services/goods to him.

 

His "investment" into me is significantly larger than his investment into her-- and I have yielded more in return for him than her (To date she has provided 0 referrals, leads or services, thus limiting her assessed value to ONLY 5k.).

 

 

Services I have provided, however, have amounted to far more than a mere 5k-- sex acts alone should rank me monetarily at about 500k, and that is a modest figure over 10 years with zero compound interest.

 

I like to think the value is much higher though. I strive for complete customer satisfaction, and I think it must work because I have a repeat customer thank you very much!!!

 

But here is a fraction of what my "business" offers services wise --Sex, chef, maid, business partner, advisor, surrogate services, childcare provider, driver, event coordinator, arm candy, life coach, personal stylist, motivational speaker, counselor, debate partner, personal bull dog, home repairwoman, personal esthetician, massage therapist... you get the idea...)

 

So in the grand scheme of things, isn't my "value" greater?? Shouldn't he strive to "invest" in me as I have proven through the years that I am a stable investment with an upward trend in growth??  What do you think?? 

 

Now ladies, I appreciate the time and thought you will all put into this. If you know my Hubby, then you know **my husband** will only listen and answer to logic.

 

He also responds to money, specifically the loss of it. My merely stating "I think she is a plotting, and feel uncomfortable with her in your life", is not enough of an explanation for him. He is also very curious to know if anyone agrees with him.

 

I also want to know if I am over reacting. (If you want to provide the argument "Just trust him and you have nothing to worry about," please don't bother responding.) I am looking for original thoughts, interesting points and the general feelings you have towards this.

 

 

Also, where would you make you stand personally, if this was happening in your life. And finally, do you think your answer is typical of a woman, or not. Be bold have fun with this, and please email me back with your answers!

 

 

Thank you all so much for time and creativity!! I value all of it!!!

 

Feel free to forward this to other women as well, and get their insights!! The more the merrier ladies!