It's NO secret we had our daughter at a VERY young age. We were NOT married and we knew not what we were doing by having a baby at that young of an age. We have a very OPEN and HONEST relationship with our daughter and did NOT sugar coat the responsibilities of taking care of a baby. Especially when you're BROKE as a JOKE and your MOMNEY is funny but, you're NOT laughing.
She's 20 years old and so far so good, we are NOT grandparents. What? You didn't know there were 38 year old grandparents in this world? Where have you been? Anyway..... She knows the impact having a baby will have on YOUR life. More so the mother of said baby. Yeah, Yeah, you can have the most amazing and supportive father of your child but, the BULK of the responsibility will be placed on the mom. Why? I have NO idea. It's just the way of the gun. I'm NOT putting down father's and their roles when it comes to their roles. So, save the hate mail for another day.
It's a bit tricky trying to explain to her that NOT every young couple STAYS together and then goes on to get married, build a life together and have more kids. Especially after they've experienced something as life changing as a baby. True, we didn't take the traditional route (marriage BEFORE carriage) but, one thing I can tell you, I have a WINNER and I would NOT change the father of my children for the world. He is an OUTSTANDING father, husband, and friend. His patience balances out our marriage, parenting and so much more! Looking back on our situation, of course, we would LOVE a re-do. Who wouldn't? Maybe a postpone than a re-do but, you see where I'm going. We're still together after going through being young parents and the trials and tribulations that come along with the journey.
We are NOT perfect parents. SHOCKING but, TRUE! I'm sure we've gotten it wrong on many occasions but, one thing for sure, our kids can NEVER EVER EVER say that we never had an OPEN communication and an OPEN door policy to come and talk to us about ANYTHING. Even if you think mom is going to TRIP! Haha.
She's 20 years old and so far so good, we are NOT grandparents. What? You didn't know there were 38 year old grandparents in this world? Where have you been? Anyway..... She knows the impact having a baby will have on YOUR life. More so the mother of said baby. Yeah, Yeah, you can have the most amazing and supportive father of your child but, the BULK of the responsibility will be placed on the mom. Why? I have NO idea. It's just the way of the gun. I'm NOT putting down father's and their roles when it comes to their roles. So, save the hate mail for another day.
It's a bit tricky trying to explain to her that NOT every young couple STAYS together and then goes on to get married, build a life together and have more kids. Especially after they've experienced something as life changing as a baby. True, we didn't take the traditional route (marriage BEFORE carriage) but, one thing I can tell you, I have a WINNER and I would NOT change the father of my children for the world. He is an OUTSTANDING father, husband, and friend. His patience balances out our marriage, parenting and so much more! Looking back on our situation, of course, we would LOVE a re-do. Who wouldn't? Maybe a postpone than a re-do but, you see where I'm going. We're still together after going through being young parents and the trials and tribulations that come along with the journey.
We are NOT perfect parents. SHOCKING but, TRUE! I'm sure we've gotten it wrong on many occasions but, one thing for sure, our kids can NEVER EVER EVER say that we never had an OPEN communication and an OPEN door policy to come and talk to us about ANYTHING. Even if you think mom is going to TRIP! Haha.
I'm sure by now you've heard about the story on the group of teenage girls in Gloucester, Mass. These brilliant (can you smell the sarcasm?) young ladies thought it would be a good idea to make a pact to get pregnant. Possibly all at the same time so, they can raise their babies together. You know, stroll around the mall with their cute strollers and their cute dressed up babies. According to the story, their lives will be COMPLETE with a baby and they will finally have someone to love.
My thoughts, if you really needed someone to love, Pet Smart is OPEN every single day of the week. A puppy is way cheaper to take care of than a baby. But, then again, what do I know? I was only a teen mom myself.
This brings me to the upcoming show premiering on TV next week. The Baby Borrower's
This is a great concept. I just might tune in to see how it all plays out. I suggested to my daughter to watch it and she all but, said, I don't need to watch this show to know that I am NOT the one to have a baby ANYTIME soon. Besides, I keep my brother enough. Yeah, built in birth control. Thanks Mom and Dad.
You're welcome! So glad we could help.
Question: Were you a young parent? Did you have help OR was the main responsibility all on you to take care of the baby? What do you think of the new show The Baby Borrower's? Will you watch it?
What are your thoughts on the teen girls making a pact to get pregnant?
Let's hear it!
19 Please! click here to leave a comment!:
I'm from the Seattle area where people tend to delay having children. having your first child at 35-40 yrs old is pretty common. At least in the area I lived in. So when I had my first baby at 23 (we had been married 2 yrs), I felt like a teenage mother. We, too, were broke as a joke and I felt so inadequate. But luckily I had (still have) a great husband who worked super hard for our family and in the end, having children young strengthened our family and our marriage and committment to each other. I don't think that happens to everyone - I feel like my situation is unique.
I think being a young parent is right if you're the right person. It worked for us and I look forward to being a young grandparent (although not TOO YOUNG) and having my kids out of the house so I can still have some good time with my hubby b4 I get too old.
As for that show The Borrowers, I think it is stupid and a joke - i don't plan on watching it. I would bet that the producers will make it more extreme and produce crazy moments to give the viewers good TV. I'm not a fan.
PS - it was good to hear your story! and my man is not a tucker BTW :)
I was a teenage parent myself...
Despite my mother's pleas for me to stay in school, further my education and NOT be in such a rush to find love, I ended up giving birth to my first child @ age 15 1/2 and my second @ 17.
For the most part, I had NO help from my daughter's fathers so....I had to learn the hard way that the bulk of the responsibility falls on mommy dearest *SIGH*.
Trust me when I say I learned QUICKY afterwards that motherhood was NO walk through the park with cutesy wootsey babies and super cute strollers.
I HAD TO SACRIFICE LOTS!!!
My mother took on the financial responsibility of ME and MY CHILDREN until she passed away when they were just 3 & 4 years old.
I was 19 at the time and it wasn't until then that I realized how hard it was not having ANYONE in my corner.
I heard that story of those teenage girls and their little pack and I was appalled.
I don't think anyone knows how serious it is to bring life into this world until they actually do and they have NO idea what they are getting themselves into.
It's sad...really really SAD!
Kudos to you guys! you are doing a great job, obviously.
Why did I think that pact thing was a hoax? I guess I should know better by now...ridic!
i read that
foul
sad state of affairs
where the mokmas at
i guess preganat at 17
I heard about this story and I just have no words. Being a young parent is NOT easy. I was a senior in highschool when I had my first daughter. It was HARD. My parents told me she was my baby and my responsibility. I grew up VERY fast. THANKFULLY her father and I got married and we have been married for 11 years. It is NOT easy!! I wish young people would realize that it isn't easy being a parent....and it's even harder when you are young.
It is not easy being a parent at any age! Much less when you are still somewhat of a baby yourself. I was relatively young (22) when I had my 1st and we too were BROKE! But it all worked out for us. We have been married for 20 yrs.
As far as that stupid pact. Well, let me just say that my daughter's and I all sat there with our mouths wide open while watching this on the news. Go get yourselves a frickin' baby doll if you just want to parade around the mall. Oh, and did you hear that one of them went as far as to get herself prego by a homeless man??????????
I had my son at 18 years old when I had completed a year-and-a-half of undergrad. My parents made it clear that he was my responsibility and I understood that from the moment I THOUGHT I was pregnant. I got my first job the following week after finding out and my boyfriend and I supported the baby. My parents did tell me that I was welcome to stay in their home with my baby and they would continue to pay for my education as long as I stayed there and did not get married. They told me that if I chose to get married my school would be my husband's obligation. So I stayed at home and my now husband and I didn't get married until I graduated from undergrad. I'm now a second-year law school student and I'm 23 years old.
Being a young parents is definitely hard and I had to grow up real fast in a lot of ways. However I don't regret it in anyway. I like to go "against the grain" and like that I'm a non-traditional teenage mom that continued going to school when I could have easily dropped out. My parents were a great support as well as my husband. But again, I think it's safe to say that my situation as well as yours are not typical results!!
Lordy, where do I begin?
I guess my big thing is that these girls are looking at pregnancy to have a baby. This is not a case of "oops." This is a "I want a baby now and I will screw whoever to get one."
I am so disgusted by this and other STUPID girls. My step-niece had a baby at 17. Supposedly it was from a one-night stand during prom, but you know what? He wasn't the baby daddy - it was some other guy. Then she had an abortion later. I don't get it!
I was young, 2 days shy of my 19th birthday and most def on my own- my mother had basically washed her hands of me and the daddy was nowhere around...so it was me myself and I. I made it. She's 18 and college bound in the fall- no babies, and doesn't want any right now.
As far as being grandparents at 28- psh...I work in the welfare office, and I've interviewed a woman that was 29 and a grandmother- no lie. How sad.
I wish I would come home and find out that my child had made a pact to have a baby with a bunch of other ignorant broads.
Hmph.
I meant 38! Duh!!
My mom was only 15 when she became pregnant with me. She and my father married before I was born, and are still together (37 years married). I always knew they did it the hard way and although they set an amazing example in dedication and love, knowing how much they struggled to survive and care for me, I wanted to follow a different path and knew that by doing so, I'd honor their lives.
Excellent, excellent post. My brother had a daughter at 20. I love my niece and she is the apple of my eye and thankfully we get to spend a lot of time with her. But I called it when she was born, my brother and her mom are no longer together. I wasn't surprised at all.
My sister was a teenage Mom-she had my nephew at 19...her son's father was really there the way he should, so she got a lot of help from my Mom, and us siblings.... this is the same for my brother's girlfriend who was 17 when she had my other nephew...her parents dont like my brother, and have more or less turned their back on her-so much of the help comes from us-my mom, and sisters....
I have seen that motherhood is no way easy, but can be harder for younger moms-especially if they have no support network!
That story about the pregnancy pact is so sad...clearly they think having a baby is just about dressing them up to look cute! It's the babies of these girls that I feel sorry for!
more teens should watch the baby borrowers. kids shouldn't have kids.
HI, I am a young mother. I had my first when I was 20, and second when I was 21. I was in my 3rd and 4th years of college. I still finished college on time, THANK GOD! and I did not send my children away to live with grandparents, I've taken care of them, since day 1. I'm now 25 almost 26, working on a graduate degree, with a 4 and 5 yr old. Me and their father were high school sweethearts, had been together since I was 14. He was way too "young minded" and "preoccupied" to be a very responsible father...The responsibility was ALL MINE. I was heartbroken, he is a much better father now and he pays child support. Unfortunately, his absence was detrimental to our relationship. He is now engaged and I am still single. I never thought my life would be this way, NEVER. But, I have accepted it and it's fate.
I have not heard of the new show. I had the fact that so many children are being born to such young parents and outside of wedlock, I see the importance even more now.
Thanks! Maybe I can catch that show.
The teens making a pact to get pregnant is sad. I believe it's a reason to have someone to love and be loved.
No. Are you kidding? We guys bragged about a lot of stuff to each other, but we were lying to sound cool and that's the truth! Sadly, when I returned to the Ohio neighborhood for 6 years where I grew up in there were 91 pregnant girls in my old school district! Shocking! Those 91 girls compared to 3 girls when I was in school and 2 of them were "good girls". One of them (believe it or not) married the young man who was the father, and they had three more children much later. They are married to this day! But this is very rare. Kids today are living in very troubled times, Tanyetta.
premiere episode tonight. finally after all the waiting. it airs at 9on nbc. i feel like it should be required reading for all teens. especially teens considering becoming pregnant, even casually considering it. hopefully this show will make them reconsider.
Man, I think bush should give up the wars on drugs, terror and freedom and just declare a war on teen pregnancy.
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